***Please note: anything in [ ] was a footnote in my word processing document.***
The best way to make friends in any MMORPG is to join a guild. [MMORPG: Massive Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game.] However, just like businesses, guilds rise and fall, and I’ve belonged to quite a few myself. I joined and left my first one in a mere matter of hours due to the juvenile things being said in guild chat.
“How do I leave the guild?” I said. Blunt, I know. That’s just one of my quirks.
I believe it was the Guild Master (GM) who said, “I can take care of that.”
Before I could navigate my way through several windows for a red and gold button that would free me from stupid, my chat box said, “You have been removed from the Guild.”
I don’t remember when exactly I joined a guild called Legion of Steel but I stayed there for a few months, leaving it for another guild called Ash Ben De Korbet (ABDK; it’s viking for “we’re all going to die”). It would’ve been a short stay there as well if it weren’t for a friend I made named Theresa, whom we all called Tessa. She was such a motherly sweetheart from Georgia, with a husband whom I clashed with. left the guild several times, only to have Tessa and several others persuade me to come back, until I couldn’t stand her husband any longer.
Despite that clash, the guild was full of good people. I think Heino, one of my first friends, was there, but he stopped playing WoW after a couple of years. He came back during the first expansion but didn’t last long. His father had gotten him hooked on weightlifting.
I stayed in contact with several others for years, even after I left, but friends come and go. That’s just how life works, and life has a tendency to guide you towards the people you need in your life. Sometimes those people come with not-so-nice ones, but oh well. It’s all good.
* * *
Playing World of Warcraft stole my innocence from me. I learned how much normal people think about sex, then started thinking about it as much them, and even made dirty jokes, including the “that’s what she said” ones.
I grew up a bit behind the curve socially. I didn’t discover boys until high school but I was afraid of sex until I was a legal adult. However, by then, I turned into a workaholic and, seeing how distracting relationships were for other people, decided I’d forgo dating until I was done with college. I was paying for it almost exclusively by myself and I refused to waste my money. Boys could wait. They were immature, stupid, and just wanted into my pants at that age. I had better things to do.
Well, when you spend month after month playing with the same group of people, you all get to know each other fairly well. The fact that I was single and hadn’t been with a man yet became common knowledge but I didn’t care—for the most part. The more gutter brained my fellow guilds made me, the hotter my curiosity burned. I’m human after all. I’d just never prioritized losing my virginity.
I made friends with a married couple, Moonraine and Grellik, also called Moon and Grellikins, or Grel. They were an amicable couple who delighted in steering my brain towards the gutter with lots of innuendo and guilty laughter if I didn’t phrase something carefully. I believe I said “gosh darn it!” a lot. I didn’t swear much either.
My gaming friends broke me of that habit, too. Swearing is just a part of gaming, but only when you die a lot.
When I met Moon and Grel, they were at a stage of their marriage where they were in an open relationship because they weren’t sure if they wanted to stay married. They didn’t hate each other. They lived together and were raising their two sons together, so there wasn’t any malice.
At one point, Grel wanted to cure some of my uptightness and shyness by having me do cyber sex with him. Yes, cyber sex.
I didn’t know what that was at the time but I had a small idea, since I’d heard of the concept of phone sex back in high school. But naive me didn’t see how that worked nor how anyone could enjoy it, so I didn’t pursue the matter further.
Grel laughed before patiently explaining what it was and how to do it but, curious as I was, he was a married man. He insisted Moon didn’t mind and that’s when I got the lowdown on their open marriage, which totally ground all the gears in my brain. Monogamy was all I knew. Once you were married, you were bound for life to another beautiful soul. But… if Grellikins and Moon weren’t deep in the throes of marriage—
No. I couldn’t help a man cheat on his wife. If I were in the wife’s position and found out I’d been cheated on, I’d be devastated. I told him as much, yet he insisted Moon really didn’t mind.
“I can’t in good conscience do such a thing,” I typed to him in a private chat message, “unless Moon tells me herself she doesn’t mind.”
A minute later he types back, “Get on Vent.”
Curious, I obliged. Not only was Grel on Vent, so was Moon and she started laughing and assured me that she didn’t mind, and that’s when I got her lowdown on their open relationship. She even admitting to cybering in-game and thought it was so sweet that I was unwilling to help her husband cheat on her, which I guess was technically impossible at the moment, from their perspective.
Moon’s words calmed my worries but didn’t alleviate my relationship shock. Sure, I’ve heard of polygamy and Mormons, but to share my man with another woman? Hell no! He’s mine, all mine, as I expect me to be to him.
Clash of relationship perspectives aside, I craved to satisfy my primal, human curiosity, and give cyber sex a go.
I must confess I enjoyed it; however Grel and I cybered a grand total of three times, the first time being the most exciting. The second time was enjoyable, but I didn’t like the idea of a man purposely making a woman choke a little. It wasn’t kind or romantic, nor was it how I craved to be treated sexually. And in the middle of that session Grel told me to hold on a sec because he didn’t want Moon to see what we were typing to each other.
That was my first inkling that their relationship wasn’t as open as they were trying to convince themselves it was. So, by the third session, I couldn’t really get into it since I couldn’t forget Grel wanting to keep it private. The session ended in a rush and we never prodded each other to cyber again.
Moon and Grel fell off my friend radar after a certain point and in the most bizarre and ironic of ways, that you may not believe the truth. They might’ve quit WoW to straighten out their marriage. The only part I remember is being to told “stay away from my husband!” before they disappeared from my life.
I don’t remember Grel finding the situation amusing or him feeling any anger towards me. I think he might’ve been embarrassed with himself or something. No matter what, my conscience was clear. I would just never do that again. Too much potential for drama.