Chapter 12: Her Selkiness!

ch12

  ***Please note: anything in [ ] was a footnote in my word processing document.***

Selky (Selket) is one of the quirkiest and funniest people I’ve met in WoW. A California native named Jade, she looks at the world in a way no one else on this planet does, and her whacky speech will have you in stitches day after day. For example, if she was making chicken breasts for dinner, she’d tell me she was having chicken boobs. Stuff like that. I wish she had the courage to get into standup comedy.

Selky, whom I’d greet with “Her Selkiness!” every time she logged on, used to play Final Fantasy XI with Reggie back in the day. When WoW came out, she told him to come play that game and he obliged. And after the fiasco in Criminal Intent, I had yet another stroke of misfortune with another guild called Divine Retribution. That guild’s GM, unbeknownst to me, was causing a lot of drama. It was a female GM and she wanted to be the only female in the guild, and would do whatever it took to keep it that way.

Reggie managed to sneak me in one night, but somehow the GM found out about my gender and the next morning I logged on, guildless for the second time in one week. I’d left Criminal Intent to give the married couple some space, so I was feeling a bit down and short on friends.

Struck with an idea, Reggie introduced Selky to me, since she was such an amicable person, and we became friends. Her uncensored, spontaneous way of talking intimidated me at first but, as I learned to relax around her, it made me laugh more and more. And even though I learned her real name, she’s one of a few people whom I prefer to call by their character name, more specifically Selky, or Her Selkiness. My nickname was Stupid Bear, since I was learning how to tank on my Druid Sekiro and, I wasn’t very good at it at first. When I was on Midgetofdoom, or other characters, her nickname for me was Miraclebewbs. I don’t remember how exactly I earned this nickname, but I know I kept it for good when one day Selky was suffering from horrible lag.

“Quick! Squeeze your miracle bewbs to make the lag go away!”

“Okay!” Since no one was around my desk to see me do the deed in real life, I puffed out my chest and gave myself a double squeeze, grinning like an idiot. “Squeeze, squeeze,” I typed back in-game.

Selky’s Druid stopped moving around in a jerky, sporadic fashion. “Oh, that’s better.”

“Is your lag gone?”

In tree form, she waddles around in a circle, unhindered. “Yeah o.o.” [Druids shape shift into a tree, panther, bear, moonkin (bearish owl with antlers), cheetah, Elk, and a sea lion.][“o.o” emoticon of surprise; used when words don’t do your emotion justice.]

“Holy crap! It worked!” we typed to each other at the same time.

I doubled over laughing and several minutes later asked if her lag was still gone, then laughed some more when she said it was. Thus the monicker stuck.

I don’t know a whole heck of a lot about Selky. She’s a very private person, even though she puts on this air of domineering confidence. We’d both hop on Vent but she’d type to reply. To this day I’ve never heard her speak and respectfully won’t pester her for her phone number to even text me. It’s not my place to nudge her out of her comfort zone. However, I did try to get her to speak now and then but she never mustered the motivation to go out and buy a mic or headset. It just wasn’t important enough. That and her partner Lily, whom we all call Li, might get jealous and possessive. Since I’d had enough relationship drama by then, I was perfectly content to be the only chatterbox on Vent.

She and Li grew up together, having been friends since their toddler days. Selky was a bit of a Tom boy during elementary school, but by middle school, she would attend her brother’s baseball games wearing a low-cut shirt and short shorts, and sit in a lawn chair with her legs stretched out and ankles crossed, just to torture the boys. One time the coach came over to her and told her she was corrupting his athletes.

“I know,” she said with a smile, and went back to reading.

Even though she had fun tormenting boys, she learned early on that she preferred girls. Yes, she tried boys, since that’s what society insisted she was supposed to do, but it simply wasn’t her. Selky’s parents didn’t like it but at least they didn’t go so far as to excommunicate her. They did, however, freak out when the Governator legalized gay marriage in California. Both hers and Li’s parents feared that the two would rush to the nearest civil union chapel and make their relationship even more official.

My heart reaches out to them. People having made fun of me for assuming something I was not, I wasn’t about turn around and shun her for part of what made her human. Instead, I felt even more resolve to remain her friend so she and Li would never feel alone.

Because my teenage peers assumed I was a lesbian and picked on me for it, I went through a phase where I wondered if I was supposed to be one, despite the fact that I wasted all four years of high school having a crush on this one boy who didn’t reciprocate my feelings. Before him, I had a crush on my middle school band teacher, along with Dean Cain, who portrayed Clark Kent/Superman from the Lois & Clark series on TNT, and before that I had a crush on one of the daycare caretakers named Scott. I even confessed my crush to him while playing Connect Four with a friend of mine named Leah. As for his reaction to my confession, I have no idea. I couldn’t look away from my children’s game after I’d said that.

I learned to loosen up a bit during undergrad. I had this terrible fear of hanging out with other girls because I felt like people would continue to assume I was a lesbian if I had any female friends. The girls I worked with at Friendly’s worked hard to cure me of my anxiety, slapping my ass, pulling at my bra now and then, and other harmless stuff like that.

The day one of my friends did a walk-by ass-slap, I gasped and clutched my fondled cheek. “You just slapped my ass!”

She popped a wicked smile as she headed to the salad station.

“I liked it!”

She spun around and stared wide-eyed at me. “Did you just…?”

That was my cue to pop a wicked grin.

I forget the server’s name but she was so proud of me that she told everyone else we worked with, and I think I got some croutons down my shirt. I don’t remember for sure. I could be totally making up that last bit, but I do know everyone chucked ice cubes down each other’s shirts now and then.

Working with those lovely girls at Friendly’s helped me learn to be comfortable with my sexuality and stop worrying so much. By the time I met Selky, I was ready to have female friends and not have a care in the world about their sexual orientation. Heck I even flirted with her for ha-has.

Anyway, Selky is a southern California native does awesome things like a “bawss,” like rub some bacon on it, all the important house chores, and be a fantastic lover—like crazy good lover, which increases if her partner is wearing jeans or yoga pants. [bawss: alternate spelling of boss.] *Rawr* [alternate spelling of roar.] Also, she claims her cuddles are top tier S Rank quality. She’s had jobs more off than on, like bartender, but life seems to prefer to have her fill the role of housewife and competitive gamer. She’s participated in many unofficial tournaments and returned home with modest chunks of change.

She lives with Li, her older brother, and his girlfriend. Her brother is technically a gamer but he plays just Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto V, to small a library to be considered a real gamer. His girlfriend sometimes plays with him, Selky, or on her own, participating in whatever co-op games everyone else is playing (mostly shooters). Overall, she’ll play anything if it’s fun and interesting. The force is strong with her.

Li is a casual gamer, too, gravitating towards single-player RPGs, and has become addicted to Minecraft with Selky’s mom, which Selky introduced the both of them to. Those two also enjoy dungeon crawlers, specifically Dungeon Siege 3 at the moment. [Dungeon crawler: Type of RPG where you navigate maze-like places and kill wave after wave of monsters, collect lots of gear, and make lots of money.]

Selky’s been playing video games since the Super Nintendo days, mostly shooters and RPGs. She doesn’t have favorites since games change with the times, but what draws her to them is likable characters and solid gameplay. Among the notable games are Super Mario, Star Fox 64, Golden Eye 007, Turok, Crash Bandicoot, the Final Fantasy series from VII onward, Legend of Dragoon, and Half Life.

Selky got into MMOs because of her oldest brother, who initiated her into the online gaming community with Final Fantasy XI. When she got bored of that, she followed him to WoW, and from there she fell in love with the game’s play style, classes, Warcraft lore, and she trusted Blizzard to make great games, since she enjoyed Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo. Ironically, WoW is one of only two games she’s fallen asleep playing due to boredom, the other being Dynasty Warriors. Sometimes she doesn’t realize it’s time to take a break or go to bed, until she almost face-plants on her desk.

In WoW, she played a bit of everything, being an altaholic and PvPer when gaming alone. Given her wonderful, awe-inspiring, benevolent nature (and aversion to boredom), she would drop whatever she was doing to help friends in group quests and such. If she was in an active raiding guild, she would join them as whatever role was needed, preferably healer. She learned early on that she favors supporting roles and that she’s good at healing. She remembers raiding a ton with a friend named Purity and her husband. They and the rest of the guild complimented her good healing. Unbeknownst to them, she was just spamming buttons and wearing good gear (thanks to their raids). [Spamming: repeatedly performing an action in rapid succession.]

Selky stuck with WoW for years because of the friends she made, and secondly because of how much fun the game was. Games are good and all; however, they are nothing but interactive images on screen without friends, who make her smile and laugh. Selky’s loved for her personality and sometimes useful advice, but she’s also hated by a few jealous punks, but that’s life. She loves making her friends laugh and smile in return, defeating foes with them, overcoming challenges, and claiming “phat loots.” [phat: alternate spelling of fat; lingo for “cool.”] All this was made possible because Blizzard did such a good job of keeping the game updated, integrating changes, and adding expansions.

Selky’s best friend ever from the online gaming community is Seigrra, who also goes by Heimdal. He was with her in FFXI and joined her in WoW for a bit. Selky had assumed he was female, since he played female characters, but then, in a random party, someone asked if he was a girl.

“I play a girl character, yes,” he replied.

He’s fun to be around, charismatic, intelligent, and witty. To this day she stays in touch with him via Skype, Steam, and they play League of Legends together. [Steam: online platform that connects players so they can play together all over the globe.]

Selky likes me, Angie, for the same reasons as Seigrra, along with the fact that I’m “an owner of miracle bewbs and a yoga pants clad booty.” Her words, I swear. She enjoys that I laugh at her jokes and put up with. The appreciation goes right back at her. We stay in touch through League of Legends and Skype, and hopes I’ll join the fun on Steam, too. I’m hoping she’ll join me in The Elder Scrolls Online.

Fromage is a human female human mage who loves a good glass of wine. He (yes, he; not everyone plays the same gender they are in reality, including myself) also had a crush on Selky, despite being married. He didn’t act on the crush but an event in real life made him feel obligated to confess the truth in an email. In response, she gave him her Skype and Steam names, but he’s yet to contact her since.

Tasha, Purity, and Errowan are a few more great friends who deserve mention. Tasha, whom I’ll be introducing next, was a “devoted Selketism harem girl and a good girl.” Selky played a lot with her because she was fun, flirty, and often asked her for help and company in game. Purity was a human paladin healer and wife to the guild master of the last guild Selky was in at the end of her WoW days. Purity was charming, fun, put up with her, and an excellent cook, yet has fallen through the cracks and out of touch. Errowan, whom she nicknamed Pervowan, was fun when he wasn’t being perverted, like hitting on her or her friends, although she admits the pervertedness was sometimes instigated by her.

One question I’ve been asking everyone is if they or someone they know is married or will get married to someone they met in one online game or another. Her answer is priceless.

“That concept seems silly to me. Hell, even dating someone you met in game is silly to me. I understand that over games it’s easier to talk to and it’s still people, so it’s essentially forming relationships as if they were face-to-face. A few of my friends have dated those they met in game, some relationships limited to in game, so companionship more like (but they don’t see it that way). A few have even been attached to me in that manner, but when confronted with the prospect of meeting in real life, my overprotective side kicks in and I advise against it, then advise cautionary steps to take when meeting someone over the internet. A lot of people out there, stupidity and weirdos among them.

“A couple friends even moved to live with them. Like, one friend was going through a breakup and I was helping how I could, taking her mind off it, comforting her, and talking. Then suddenly she tells me she’s hooked up with what’s-his-face and is actually moving to another state to live with him. No idea how that went, as he started to get possessive of her. He got belligerent, agitated, and, at times, jealous of me for some reason. Eventually she drifted away and moved on to other games.”

Selky’s never met any of her online friends in person. She likes to keep her online and real life separate. She’s heard many of them talk via voice chat programs but she doesn’t talk because, not only does she not own a headset, she doesn’t like to talk because she finds that and playing at the same time difficult for her, she often has music going or she wants to hear the game sound, and finally because she’s just that mysterious. Maybe she’ll change that one day, since this day and age is saturated with communication tools like Facebook and such, and maybe she’ll reveal her ultimate secrets: her voice and face.

Or not.

See? Mysterious!

I have many friends I get in contact with on and off, but Selky is one of very few whom I can go months or even over a year without talking to, and then out of the blue we’ll cross paths again and it’s like we never missed a day.

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About Angela Macala-Guajardo

Author, teacher, soon-to-be full time writer for two companies. Also a lover life in the Arizona desert, puppy butt wiggles, and kitties purring away on my shoulder.
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